Does it make a difference to believe that sex comes from God?
A team of researchers may suggest that the answer is yes, according to their findings that a belief in the sanctification of sex has a significant impact on our relationships. Let’s take a look at what they found:
Sanctification is defined as perceiving an aspect of life as having divine character and significance (Pargament & Mahoney, 2009). When people sanctify sex, it means that they believe that sex is holy and comes from a godly source. Some of these beliefs include the following ideas:
- The sexual bond I have with my spouse is sacred to me.
- Our sexual relationship connects us to something greater than ourselves.
- There are moments when we are sexually intimate that time stands still and I feel like I am part of something eternal.
- Being sexually intimate with my spouse feels like a deeply spiritual experience.
- Our sexual connection is part of a larger spiritual plan.
- At moments, being sexually intimate with my spouse makes me very aware of a creative power beyond us.
- Our sexual relationship seems like a miracle to me.
- Our sexual relationship is holy.
- Our sexual relationship puts me in touch with the deepest mysteries of life.
- My sexual relationship with my spouse reveals the deepest truths of life to me.
- Being in a sexual relationship with each other is a reflection of God’s will.
- God played a role in my decision to have a sexual relationship with my spouse.
- I see God’s influence in our sexual relationship.
- In mysterious ways, God deepens the sexual intimacy I have with my spouse.
- God has been a guiding force in our sexual relationship.
- I feel God at work when we express ourselves sexually with each other.
- Our sexual relationship speaks to the presence of God.
- I experience God through the sexual bond I have with my spouse.
- There are moments when I feel a strong connection with God when I am sexually intimate with my spouse
- God’s essence is expressed in our sexual relationship.
Those who do not sanctify sex see it simply as an act that has no spiritual meaning and does not come from God.
Do you share any of these ideas about sex being holy? If so, the research findings may be comforting to you:
Researchers asked 83 newlyweds about their opinions of the holy nature of sexuality. They found that the more an individual believed in the sanctity of sex, the more likely they were to have greater marital satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. One explanation for this finding is that those who view sexuality as possessing sacred qualities may invest greater time, energy, and resources into their marriages. When we place a high spiritual value on sex, we are more likely to treasure it and use it in the way that God has commanded us.
So what does this mean for us? For those of you who already believe that sex comes from God and has sacred qualities, what can you do to involve God more in your sex life? Is the way you treat your spouse, the way you talk about sex, and the way that you use your body in line with your beliefs that sexuality is sacred? This is an awesome chance for you to stop and truly ponder how your beliefs about God affect your sexuality. How can you improve?
For those of you who are unsure if sex has divine origins, you can ask God. Kneel down and pray and ask him if sex really does come from Him. Ask Him how He wants you to use your body and why sex is important. If you pray with your whole heart and believe that He can answer you, you will receive an answer. Listen for the feelings in your heart as you pray and listen for what God is trying to tell you. He will show you His purposes for sex and help you understand.
I personally believe that this research is one example of the way God strengthens our relationships when we come to Him. Every step we take to understanding the world through God’s eyes makes us stronger and happier. God has greater purposes for sexuality than we can possibly imagine. We can begin to take steps to see sex through His eyes by reading His word and praying for understanding. If we do this and apply what we learn to our relationships, we will not only be more satisfied in our relationships, we will find a simple peace that comes from knowing that our desires are in line with Our Heavenly Father’s.
Sources:
Hernandez, K. M., Mahoney, A., & Pargament, K. I. (2011). Sanctification of sexuality: implications for newlyweds’ marital and sexual quality. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(5), 775.
