Imagine your future self. What have you accomplished? Whose lives have you touched? What do your relationships look like? Are you married? Happy? Committed? Close to God?
For those of you who want your future to include a happy, fulfilling, committed relationship with both your spouse and God, THIS POST IS FOR YOU. And the best news is that it is all achievable.
Unfortunately, there are some things that might get in our way of achieving these goals. That doesn’t mean that we can’t fight and win, it just means that we have to be aware of the dangers on our path and learn how to combat them.
One of these dangers is pornography. It is everywhere, easy to find and easy to hide. Lots of people struggle to stop looking at porn, and many are tempted to look. But why is it so important not to look anyways? What’s the real harm?
The truth is that pornography can get in the way of your dreams of a committed and happy relationship.
Some may think that as long as they’re not addicted, pornography won’t hurt them. However, the danger of pornography is subtle and extremely toxic. Let’s talk about how:
1. Porn Lies
Pornography teaches you the twisted version of what should or should not happen in sex. IT IS WRONG. Porn shows sensational sexual acts, a lot of it involving uncommitted couples, acts of aggression, and extreme sexual behaviors, all of which give you inaccurate and unrealistic expectations.
2. Porn Changes the Way You Think About Sex
Every time you see a pornographic image or video, it teaches you that sex in real life is the way that you see it on the screen. IT IS NOT. Researchers have found that the more pornography you watch, the more likely you are to believe the lies it tells you about sex (Sun et al., 2016). You become less focused on the emotional and relational aspects of sex and more focused on just the physical. It’s like looking at the world with a broken pair of glasses. You will then start to expect your partner in the future to participate sexually with you based on the lies porn tells you.
3. Porn Hurts Relationships
When you get married, these inaccurate and unrealistic expectations stick with you, but they are soon shattered completely. Sex turns out to be much different than you thought it would be, and you find that porn was lying to you all that time.
Your focus on physical pleasure and living up to the unrealistic standards of pornography can cause a rift between you and your partner. Your partner might feel uncomfortable with the sexual frequency and behaviors that you expect. He or she might even feel that you don’t care about his or her feelings, only physical sexual pleasure. This can create a lot of conflict in a committed relationship because sex is supposed to be a symbol of union and commitment. Those unrealistic expectations can hurt the trust that should exist in a sexual relationship. It will require a lot of love, effort, and positive communication to restore the trust and find realistic sexual enjoyment and wholeness.
The bottom line is that pornography tells you lies about sex, lies that can damage your committed relationships in the future.
Do all that you can to stay away from it. If you are currently struggling with pornography, there IS STILL HOPE. Do all that you can to stop (help is out there). You can find healing through your own efforts and through the power of Jesus Christ. It may not be easy to forget the lies that pornography has told you, but I know that it is possible. Your dreams are still in reach. You can fight and you can win because God is on your side. He will help you reach your highest aspirations and have happy, committed, sexually whole relationships.
References:
Sun, C., Bridges, A., Johnson, J. A., & Ezzell, M. B. (2016). Pornography and the male sexual script: An analysis of consumption and sexual relations. Archives of sexual behavior, 45(4), 983.
